I just hopped onto this long abandoned Blog, and I found this unpublished entry. I appreciated the message that I left maybe just for myself 7 years ago, but maybe someone else will benefit from it, too.
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What is the obsession with perfection?
At least, why am I obsessed with it?
I love to browse visual perfection. The perfectly appointed rooms in the Crate and Barrel catalogs. The quality furniture with not a lick of dust and definitely no flaws--unless it is "distressed" and intentionally flawed. The ideal lighting--there are no dark, dreary days in this world.
It is a magical, whimsical dreamland where there are no spills, no problems, and everyone gets along.
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| Photo credit: Chance Agrella via freerangestock.com |
You see it in catalogs and magazines, advertisements, television shows and movies, blogs, Pinterest, and especially Facebook.
Oftentimes, it is a product that is sold to us in many different forms.
It is unattainable, yet I still find myself searching for it and quickly feeling quite depressed when I fail to reach even some fraction of perfection, though all around many seem to be doing so somehow. Now, I know they really aren't, and that it's all just an illusion. Most people I know simply don't enjoy dwelling on their so-called failures and problems. They will not usually discuss how difficult marriage and parenting is. The people who do "complain" about these topics are often shunned in our society. Also, I realize that it's burdensome to talk about these negative topics with friends. They want to hear about the "good" stuff anyway. So, what I do is I gloss over the stuff that bothers me. I don't talk about it with my friends very often. There is a formula that I must meet--the perfect ratio of positive conversation to negative. If I dwell on the negative too much, it feels as though I'm treating my friendly conversation with a dear friend as a therapy session, and I risk scaring her off.
Is this how friendship is supposed to be, though? Are we supposed to hide the negative for fear that we are too much of a burden for our friends?
I don't know.
I do realize there is a balance in life. I realize, also, that when we have unrealistic expectations, much more about our lives seems negative. I've been there. I've been ungrateful, and I've felt entitled before.
Another thing I think is important to remember is that there is a reason we crave perfection. We seek the beautiful things of the world, because we were made to desire them. Unfortunately, we attempt substitutions for the only One who will bring satisfaction to that longing. We expect beauty, a quest for perfection, relationships (especially spouses), belongings, food, or any number of things in which we may become addicted to fill us up with peace and satiety. And they will not. Perhaps for a moment... But then they fade, and we feel as empty as ever.
So, today, when I long for the beauty of the world and perfection...and even expect it...I am going to pause for a moment and try to discern what it is...Who it is...that I truly long for. I long for perfection, because He is perfect, and I was created to long for Him.
