The Illusion of Perfection

I just hopped onto this long abandoned Blog, and I found this unpublished entry.  I appreciated the message that I left maybe just for myself 7 years ago, but maybe someone else will benefit from it, too.

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I've been thinking about perfection a lot lately.  To be more fair, I've been thinking about it for months and probably even years.

What is the obsession with perfection?

At least, why am I obsessed with it?

I love to browse visual perfection.  The perfectly appointed rooms in the Crate and Barrel catalogs.  The quality furniture with not a lick of dust and definitely no flaws--unless it is "distressed" and intentionally flawed.  The ideal lighting--there are no dark, dreary days in this world.

It is a magical, whimsical dreamland where there are no spills, no problems, and everyone gets along.

Photo credit:  Chance Agrella via freerangestock.com

You see it in catalogs and magazines, advertisements, television shows and movies, blogs, Pinterest, and especially Facebook.

Oftentimes, it is a product that is sold to us in many different forms.

It is unattainable, yet I still find myself searching for it and quickly feeling quite depressed when I fail to reach even some fraction of perfection, though all around many seem to be doing so somehow.  Now, I know they really aren't, and that it's all just an illusion.  Most people I know simply don't enjoy dwelling on their so-called failures and problems.  They will not usually discuss how difficult marriage and parenting is.  The people who do "complain" about these topics are often shunned in our society.  Also, I realize that it's burdensome to talk about these negative topics with friends.  They want to hear about the "good" stuff anyway.  So, what I do is I gloss over the stuff that bothers me.  I don't talk about it with my friends very often.  There is a formula that I must meet--the perfect ratio of positive conversation to negative.  If I dwell on the negative too much, it feels as though I'm treating my friendly conversation with a dear friend as a therapy session, and I risk scaring her off.

Is this how friendship is supposed to be, though?  Are we supposed to hide the negative for fear that we are too much of a burden for our friends?

I don't know.

I do realize there is a balance in life.  I realize, also, that when we have unrealistic expectations, much more about our lives seems negative.  I've been there.  I've been ungrateful, and I've felt entitled before.

Another thing I think is important to remember is that there is a reason we crave perfection.  We seek the beautiful things of the world, because we were made to desire them.  Unfortunately, we attempt substitutions for the only One who will bring satisfaction to that longing.  We expect beauty, a quest for perfection, relationships (especially spouses), belongings, food, or any number of things in which we may become addicted to fill us up with peace and satiety.  And they will not.  Perhaps for a moment...  But then they fade, and we feel as empty as ever.

So, today, when I long for the beauty of the world and perfection...and even expect it...I am going to pause for a moment and try to discern what it is...Who it is...that I truly long for.  I long for perfection, because He is perfect, and I was created to long for Him.

Simplicity - Beauty - Truth

If you are interested in ideas to simplify your life, if you are a lover of beauty, and if you are searching for Truth, then this post is for you.

--Simplicity--

Although it can be good to pray different types of devotions, they are not necessary.

The Holy Rosary is a beautiful prayer, as it calls upon the intercession of Mary (asking Mary to pray for you) and allows you to meditate on the Gospels.  If you can pray one daily or if you can pray a Decade daily, then that's great!  You may be surprised at how you suddenly DO have time to squeeze one in when you entrust this to God.  The same goes for the Chaplet of Divine Mercy--what a beautiful prayer of compassion, love, and forgiveness!  However, if your day or your season of life is completely crazy--if you are in survival mode--you may only be able to pray some of the Rosary or some of the Chaplet (maybe not all in one sitting)--or perhaps none at all.

I don't think God cares.

What He cares about is being with you.  Are you "present" to Him every day?  Are you open to how He wants your day to pan out?  Do you trust His care for your life?

Go to Him throughout your day and just be with Him.  This is the more important thing.

--Beauty--

Aesthetics can be wonderful.  God gave the world physical beauty, such as unspoiled nature, and He gave humans the ability to create magnificent works of art (paintings, photography, sculptures, song, dance, storytelling, and more).  However, we know that beauty which delights the senses is not the only type of true beauty.

There is a deeper sort of beauty.

Caring for an ailing loved one.
Sticking it out in a relationship when it no longer seems convenient or gratifying.
Allowing someone to help you in your time(s) of need.
Listening to those who feel isolated.
Recognizing your own limits and attempting to take care of your body by getting adequate rest, nourishment, and physical activity.

These are some examples.

--Truth--

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus instructs us to do loving acts for the right reasons.  When we offer love, we should not expect some type of return from the recipient(s).  This is a challenging assignment.

Our culture seems to be quite driven by reinforcements.  When it comes to certain tasks, if I receive no positive reinforcement, sometimes I find it very difficult to continue with that task.  That is, unless I somehow derive an internal positive reinforcement from the action.  I find that the momentum of habit can also aid in continuance of a task that is good, yet quite unpleasant.

One type of internal, positive reinforcement experienced from helping others may be the cliched "warm, fuzzy feeling."  Awareness that doing something loving can improve the recipient's life (even if they are ungrateful or oblivious) can be another form of motivation for doing good.  Remembering that we are God's hands and feet--that our gestures of love can be examples of God's love to another--can reinforce to us the importance of gift-giving without an expectation for reciprocity.

In summary, we are called to love, help, and be kind even to those for whom it is very difficult to love, help, and be kind.  This can be very difficult.  It requires a firm foundation in identity, a knowledge that we are loved immensely by God, maturity, humility, and the understanding that if our gift is not reciprocated or even if it is rejected, we have not lost anything of ourselves.  Nothing is lost when you attempt to give genuine love to others.  Love is multiplied no matter the response.

What are your thoughts on devotions, true beauty, and Truth?  Feel free to leave a comment!

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